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Din cand in cand, atunci cand vreau sa scap de cancanurile socante din presa si de banalitatile din newsfeed-ul de Facebook, mai intru pe Quora si ma abonez la diverse subiecte de discutie, pornite sau intretinute de oameni mult mai destepti ca mine.
Unele discutii ma pun pe ganduri, unele imi dau idei de campanii, unele sunt doar subiecte peste care trec usor cu privirea. Astazi mi-a atras atentia o discutie din categoria “career advice”, care pare un pic rupta din filmele romantico-lacrimogene de la Hollywood.
Titlul discutiei este “Due to my circumstances, I have to pick between my girlfriend, whom I absolutely love, and my dream job, which pays 5 times as much as I currently make. What do I do? Essentially, I have to pick between love and an incredible career due to relocation etc. I absolutely cannot have both. ”
Deci tipul trebuie sa aleaga intre iubirea de langa el sau jobul din alt oras, de 5 ori mai bine platit decat cel actual. Era cat pe-aci sa trec mai departe si sa inchid tab-ul, dar am observat cateva sfaturi si comentarii pro si contra fiecarei alegeri, care mi s-au parut indeajuns de interesante incat sa le pastrez pentru blog.
Unele s-ar putea sa para bla bla-uri motivationale sau idealiste, unele prea generaliste, altele prea egoiste si materialiste.
Choose the career and the relationship becomes difficult not impossible. Choose to pass on the career choice and that career choice is now impossible, not difficult. My advice is to get real with yourself. Keep asking why you want what you want and why to that answer and why to the answer of that until you land on “real.” You know what you want. It’s in there. You owe it to yourself to be real. Then you can have a fair conversation with her about what you want, what she wants, and how it might work. You owe it to her too.
If you had said “dream girl” instead of “dream job”, I’d have said her…but you’ve already made up your mind. Good luck and be straight with her.
Choose the career. The fact that you are weighing options tells how much you really love this person and how important she is.
If you loved her absolutely like you claim, ending the relationship to earn more money wouldn’t be an option. Continuarea
Pick the job. Ask her if she’ll relocate with you. If she won’t, break it off like a gentleman. There are billions of women in this world. You’ll fall in love again
Take the job and hire your girlfriend.
Pick your job. If you don’t, you will blame your girlfriend when you quarrel with her.
If you “absolutely” loved your girlfriend, you would not be asking.
If it was me, I would choose the job. In my eyes, I would rather do what I love than compromise on my dreams for someone else. Does that sound selfish? Maybe. To me, this is different from the regular compromises that happen naturally with the give and take in a relationship. There are 7 billion people out there, and I don’t believe that we only have “one true love”. If you go for the job, love will likely come again. But you may never get the opportunity to do what you truly love again. However, that is just my opinion. Be less afraid of making the wrong decision, and do what feels right deep in your heart.
I’ve been in that position. The fact that you have to choose means you should choose the job. It will suck for a while because you will greave just as you would expect, but she’s not your wife, or even the mother of your children (which is pretty much the only reason to choose the girl over the job). Go, be free, there will be another woman willing to share your life. Remember though, when you have children, your responsibilities change.
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